Ridding Yourself Of Being A Manipulator To Better Your Relationships

One of the oldest character flaws in humans is their abilityto manipulate each other. Its insidious nature tilts oureveryday playing field toward the manipulator. Themanipulating person has a basic personality flaw that has adirect link to control, but primarily the ever-abundantinsecurity issue.

So, how is it that we deal with these types of people tolevel the perverbial playing field?

Well, for a moment, lets just consider the problematicissues that these types of people have so as to betterunderstand what approach to take.

In being manipulative, one would only need to look at thewhy and what, not the how, because the how is obvious. How do they do it? They use words as their arsenal forcontrol.

One should understand that manipulative people aregenerally control freaks who need to have the people theyattempt to control conform to their ideology. Byleveraging control over a particular situation, they satisfythe craving to fill that void of not having personal control,therefore obtaining it from another person.

It is quite obvious that always trying to tilt the scales foryourself by being manipulative reflects a security problem inyourself. It's simple! If you do not feel secure withyourself, than you are insecure. Ah...but to what degreeyou may ask, do you have to be so insecure that you alwaysattempt to obtain control and security elsewhere?

Insecurities are in us all. We all feel vulnerable at times inany given situation, but what would propel us to be soinsecure that we need to control others in our environment?

This question could be answered differently for almostevery manipulative person because what drives us tomanipulate might be extremely deep-seated in one, where inanother it is seated quite shallow.

Most people have heard in one place or another; you canonly control certain things in life, and much of the otherstuff you need to just let the chips fall where they may.

This is very true. Let's just look at one simple example toconceptualize. You have five one hundred dollar bills youhave alloted yourself to use in attempts to make moremoney, so you head for the closest casino.

Now, blackjack is your game of choice, so let me illustrateyour possible control. You could, when the dealer asks youto cut the cards, place the divider at the very end, thinkingthis will stack the hands in your favor. You could changetables because one dealer is what you would call bad luck. The fact is that once you put your money down, you losecontrol of the situation.

The dealer will deal you a winning or losing hand and yousimply have no control over the situation, yet you might tryto seize control by many illogical means in attempts to win.

By not attempting to control everyone else, you come to anunderstanding that letting people live their lives in peacewithout your controlling ways, is the healthiest way ingoing about your relationships.

Others will detect a distinct difference in your personalityand certainly appreciate you, rather than resent your ill will. This is, again, a change in approach and attitude towardsothers that will need to be worked on everyday. In addition,one should want and need to see progression everyday toconfirm the diminishing of this toxic characteristic.

Let go of your need to always control and manipulate, itwill definitely become a more harmonious existence, notonly for others, but for yourself.

by Brian Maloney-ValuePrep.com

Want to improve your personal values? Get high-quality relationship advice for guys and women from a 'Logical' standpoint.

Visit ValuePrep - Relationship Advice.

**Attn Ezine editors / Site Owners**
Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine or on your website as long as you leave all links in place, do not modify the content and include our resource box as listed above.

Relationships, communication theme of Friday's Warner Robins council retreat Macon Telegraph (blog) After ending at 7 pm Friday, the retreat will continue Saturday from 8 am to 3:30 pm OV Brantley, a former attorney for Fulton County governmental bodies, told council members their internal relationships are important to strong operations and images. and more »

PsychCentral.com

Optimal conversation lowers stress in relationships Times of India Young couples who easily engage in rewarding conversations with their partners, experience less relationship stress and higher satisfaction, say researchers. According to research from Kansas State University, young adults who have optimal conversation ... Going With the Flow of Talk Brings Couples CloserPsychCentral.com all 12 news articles »

CBC.ca

Depression Linked To Adolescent Bullying Medical News Today "Often the assumption is that problematic peer relationships drive depression. We found that depression symptoms predicted negative peer relationships. We examined the issue from both directions but found no evidence to suggest that peer relationships ... Depressed Adolescents More Likely to be BulliedPsychCentral.com Depressed adolescents likelier to be bulliedTimes of India Depressed adolescents more likely to be targets of bullying: StudyHealthJockey.com U.S. News & World Report -Expatriate Healthcare all 46 news articles »

Cara Dorris '15: The fiction of relationship? The Brown Daily Herald Most people will tell you that there are two types of relationships at Brown: rigid, Facebook-official romances and hurried, efficient and occasionally chronic hookups. Though there are exceptions, most of us brag that we're too busy, even too selfish ... and more »

The Link Between Obesity and the Early Mother-Child Relationship The Atlantic Instead of focusing on the body's energy balance, the researchers suggest improving the mother-toddler relationship, often called attachment. The researchers explored the effect of maternal-child bonding during the preschool years on the likelihood of ... and more »

Jamie Kennedy Talks Relationships, Valentine's Day Plans and Playing 'Cupid ... Hollywood Reporter As for his research of the role, the actor joked, "I went to Zales," before admitting, "I think I've been in enough relationships that that was my research." Not that he claims to know what he's doing. "Being in all of my relationships, I'm even more ... and more »

Healthy relationship examples crucial for youth, experts say Maxwell Gunter Dispatch In the race to stop domestic violence, educating children before they date can provide the awareness for healthy relationships when they become adults. In the crucial years before youth start dating, parents and peers impact children's perceptions of ... and more »

Relationships Art Exhibit at the SCAHC Gallery in Sussex NorthJersey.com (press release) In the Relationships Art Exhibit, the Sussex County Arts and Heritage Council is asking artists to explore, well, relationships—any relationship. And what seems to be a traditional subject for art can prove to have numerous possibilities when viewed ... and more »

Love Triangles: And Kitty Makes Three Patch.com When pets and relationships collide, there are better answers than dumping one of the feuding parties. This shorthair cat is available for adoption from the Santa Monica Animal Shelter. For more information, contact Sharon Hardy, owner of Sweet Potato ... and more »

At NRC Hearing, Signs Of Improving Relationships Fox Business However, it offered several hints that personal relationships on the five-member commission may be improving less than two months after they boiled over at a pair of congressional hearings. The tensions have raised questions about the nuclear safety ... and more »