| |
| |
|
Relationships Information |
|
|
|
Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
It's one of the ways you can spot a woman in an abusive relationship. They ask themselves the question, time and time again, obsessively. Actually, it's not the question that obsesses them so much as the answer. The hope is that if they ask themselves the question often enough, the answer will become the one they want. The desired answer is, of course,yes. Yes, they should stay because it will work out the way they'd like it to. Of course, there are good reasons for wanting the relationship to metamorphose into the Happily-Ever-After kind. Ironically, abused women are driven by their very desperation to invest far more in their relationship than their emotionally fulfilled sisters do. They do so, not least, because of their spiralling isolation and self-doubt. So a massive, draining conflict between emotion and reason ensues. Of course emotion wins the day for the longest time. 'The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of', Pascal observed back in the seventeenth century. It's a great quote. It's even made it onto a T-shirt. (My daughter wore one such through the autumn.) (C) Annie Kaszina 2005 In fact, how many of us have 'been there, done that and bought the T-shirt', metaphorically speaking, at least? And how many of us have muted the voice of reason by our persistent denial of it, for sentimental 'reasons'? Nobody can tell another person whether they should stay or go - although they may be sorely tempted. (The exquisite relief of telling a loved one that their partner is a cold-blooded reptile best returned to his dank swamp, can be a tough one to resist.) Equally, when the boot's on the other foot, it's not something you want to hear. The only perspective on the problem that counts is your own. If you feel ready to explore the same problem from a new - broader - perspective, it may be time to start asking yourself different questions. These are some of the questions you can ask yourself: · Over time has my relationship improved, deteriorated or stayed the same? · If it has consistently deteriorated, what grounds do I have for hoping for radical improvement? · Is my partner prepared to make a medium to long-term commitment to improving the relationship? · How am I validated and honoured in this relationship? · What would you choose if you really believed you did not have to settle for second best? Your answers should be self-explanatory. If you are looking for someone who will keep you on track and hold a vision for you while you learn to let your reason provide you with strength and direction, you may be ready to be coached. Annie Kaszina Joyful Coaching An NLP Practitioner and Women's Empowerment Coach, Annie specialises in helping women heal relationship pain and attract the relationships they want. Email:annie@joyfulcoaching.com Websites: http://www.joyfulcoaching.com, http://www.anniekaszina.com To order Annie's eBook 'The Woman You Want To Be': http://www.joyfulcoaching.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Jamie Kennedy Talks Relationships, Valentine's Day Plans and Playing 'Cupid ... - Hollywood Reporter
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How realistic are we? So often when we think of our ideal mate we give them qualities and attributes that one person may or may not be able to possess. These qualities can be how they look, how they treat us, to something like what kind of job that they have. Fight, Flight, or Loving Action Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When fear is present, adrenaline pours into our system to prepare us to fight or flee - from the tiger, the bear, the lava from the volcano?. Denial Is Not A River In Egypt Original it ain't, but it still merits repetition: "Denial is not a river in Egypt". What it is, is a highly addictive behaviour. Relationship Advice: Powerful Tips for Staying Close and Connected Staying close in your relationship does not just happen.Staying close requires conscious attention and effort. Relationship Advice: Wash that (Bad) Man Out of Your Hair Stuck on a guy who cheats on you? Lies? Claims he loves you but can't marry you because a) his wife won't divorce him, b) his last relationship ended so painfully it nearly killed him, or c) he can't make a commitment until his kids are in college?Here's how to get unstuck:1) Understand that you have no control over the situation. You can't make a man love you the way you deserve to be loved, you can't keep him faithful, you can't force him to tell the truth. The Secret Power of Romance and How It Can Work for You There are some men who will never understand the importance of romance. They may be lazy or don't feel like investing any of their time for something silly like romance. Before Falling Truly and Madly in Love Ask Each Other 10 Pertinent Questions Falling in love?aaahh what a wonderful experience the first flushes of love are. The heart starts pounding, our temperature rises, and the butterflies begin fluttering whenever the girl/boy of our dreams enters the room. Whats The Attraction? Why do people have affairs? Why not do the 'right' thing and leave a marriage first if one is inclined to step out of it? The reasons are as varied as the people involved. Public perception of infidelity is someone with a sexual overdrive and their pants around their ankles, and while that may be true in some cases, it's not as common a reason as one would think. How To Tell If Someone You Meet In An Online Profile Or Advert Is Married/Partnered Or A Troll - 1 Subtitle - A Troll? What the **** is that and why shouldI give a hoot?First, let's get clear on our terms.For the purpose of this article, "Troll" has two meanings. I Want to Love Him... But Hes So Far Away Okay, who are we kidding. Long-distance relationships are not supposed to be easy, because then everyone would be involved in them. Mental Abuse - The 7 Most Important Things To Know 1. Sticks and stones won't break my bones" - and words won't leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. The Counsel of Caution Caution is a word with a fine old-fashioned ring. The dictionary definition I have in front of me reads: "attention to safety, prudence, carefulness". Are You Chasing Dollars or Your Kids? Striking a perfect balance between work and home todaycan be difficult task for most of us. However, do you everwonder if your spending too much time chasing money andnot enough with your children?Everything in moderation right? Haven't we been told thiscountless times and yet still we tend to find ourselvesconstantly plunging into excess. Yellow and Orange Flags in Relationships It's been said that love is blind. It may also be deaf and dumb, but in this article I'll deal with the onset of blindness that occurs at the beginning of a relationship. Slaying The Green Eyed Monster He hasn't called in hours. You call and get the roommate: "Oh, sorry . One of The Main Reasons Why Relationships Fall Apart I had the priviledge to try out a BMW M5 at a BMW dealership. It is one of the most refined race cars that is ever built. How to Tell If Your Boyfriend or Husband Is Cheating On You The word infidelity brings with it fear to every woman I've ever had the opportunity to speak with. While many make the claim that their spouse would never cheat on them they realize that is false hope and that it could very well happen to them. Parasitic Relationship Something in my life is weighing heavily on my mind, and I don't talk to anyone about it. I married my husband when he was 21 and I was 20. 7 Power Skills that Build Strong Relationships A strong, healthy relationship is one in which the partners show respect and kindness toward each other. The relationship forms a rewarding and enduring bond of trust and support. Intent Over the past few months, things in my life have been better than ever. New home, new friends, and wonderful career.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2010 |
