| |
| |
|
Relationships Information |
|
|
|
How A Phony Persona Always Hurts You
'Be yourself', isn't that what you've always heard? Itcertainly isn't ill advice considering what you are losing inthe long run when you adopt one of these fraudulent lives. You may ask, what's adding a little sizzle hurt any? It's not the extra energy that you bring to the table as longas it's your true personality. It is the egregioustransformation from you knowing who you are, to apersonality that you may or may not realize is fraudulent. Whether you call it fake, phony, fraudulent, multiplepersonalities or whatever, it pretty much adds up to thesame thing. It is not who you are. I know, I, not unlikemillions of others, had taken on the 'Mr. Hollywood'whenever a situation called for it and my color changed likea chameleon to suit my environment. Adolescents are always trying to one up each other in orderto cement themselves into an ever-changing socialstructure. You may see it at the mall when a pack ofthirteen year old girls float through an area you areshopping and their volume is much more accentuated thanthat of 99% of everyone elses.. It is almost as though, since everyone else is always tryingto put on their respective show to the world that if youdon't, you're afraid you won't stand out; you'll be blandand boring. When you're not trying to impress the worldwith your made up personality, you're just that regular Joethat you or anyone else will see as unique. That mindset couldn't be farther from the truth! In fact,when you change your fundamental persona to suit yourenvironment, you not only hurt yourself with a lie, but youlie to everyone you put this on for. It may be your friends,it may be your family or both. So what would happen if you didn't put on your plasticface everyday? Wouldn't you be letting everyone downwho depends on that persona to entertain them, to maketheir existence better? Wouldn't you be lying again bybeing you because you've always been lying? This could not only ruin your social life, but possibly getyou fired because your boss may expect that outgoingsalesperson he first hired. All of a sudden, you want to beyou instead of the fantasy that's magnetic, appealing andirresistible. I say change to be the real you, even if it does a lot ofdamage. But what if you don't know who the real you isbecause you're so stuck in this vacuum that breeds andfeeds fake? Then you need to do some serious "soul searching". Ask yourself, what means most to you? Wasting precioustime being someone your not, or living your life true andclean? To me, it's a no brainer, but to others who dislikethemselves so much, this can be one of the most dauntingtasks ever. Why is it so hard? When you're taking on this false persona, you feel moresecure because your natural persona, as you see it, is notworthy. You've clipped its beautiful wings and kept it in acage so if it wanted to fly, it couldn't, due to your ownsuppression. The most painful thought imaginable is that of the timewasted. Most of the time, years can never be recouped. Inaddition, if change towards your natural personality is neverachieved, your whole life just may be a lie. Not only will you gain more respect from your family andpeers, but more importantly, you will always respectyourself no matter where life may bring you. So make thechange, and don't waste anymore life, it's definitely notworth it How would this look on your headstone? He lived his lifeas a lie, but what a great guy. Don't be that person. It's never to late to make changes,no matter how difficult change is. Because being true toyourself as who you really are instead of what you thinkeveryone wants you to be, is absolutely the most selfempowering life you could possibly lead. Not only will you gain more respect from your family andpeers, but more importantly, you will always respectyourself no matter where life may bring you. So make thechange, and don't waste anymore life, it's definitely notworth it --by Brian Maloney-ValuePrep.com Want to improve your personal values?Get high-quality-relationship advice for guys and gals from a 'Logical' standpoint. Visit ValuePrep - Relationship Advice **Attn Ezine editors / Site Owners**Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine or on your website as long as you leave all links in place, do not modify the content and include our resource box as listed above.
MORE RESOURCES:
Jamie Kennedy Talks Relationships, Valentine's Day Plans and Playing 'Cupid ... - Hollywood Reporter
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Relationship Advice: Safety, Intimacy, and Fun When people come in for marriage counseling, they bring their own expectations. Some people expect the therapist to say one spouse is wrong and the other right. Ending a Relationship Gracefully Ending a relationship is never easy. When you feel you must end a relationship most people find it challenging as they have feelings towards their partner and do not wish to hurt them. Buying Underwear For The Woman In Your Life - The Golden Rules There are two golden rules for choosing underwear for the woman in your life: ignore them at your peril!1) Make sure you get the right size?This is relatively easy - all you have to do is have a look at the label inside a bra that she often wears and note the size (numbers and letters, eg 36C) and do the same for a pair of knickers. Just don't let her catch you rummaging in her underwear drawer or she might get the wrong idea!!Then take yourself down to the nearest lingerie outlet (try a big department store - you'll get more help choosing and you'll get extra brownie points for the effort), find someone to help you and tell them the size you need. Relationship Advice - How to Get Out and Stay Out of Relationships Ruts "The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions."Q: My wife and I are both on our second marriage. Relationship Advice: 7 Strategies for a Great Relationship 1. CommitmentTrue commitment means much more than simply committing to staying married. Relationship Advice: 3 Kinds of Love There are three kinds of love:love as a feeling, love as a decision/choice, and love as an action.The confusion of these three kinds of love is the cause of much needless pain and suffering. Five Easy Steps to Creating Your Dream Relationship Millions of singles across the world are looking to create relationship bliss. It takes time. Can Men And Women Be Friends? Or When Harry Met Sally Did He Really Just Want to Jump Her Bones? Men and women can't really be just friends, can they? Of course not. There's always that pesky sexual tension to contend with. How realistic are we? So often when we think of our ideal mate we give them qualities and attributes that one person may or may not be able to possess. These qualities can be how they look, how they treat us, to something like what kind of job that they have. Conflicts Dont Have to Mean a Fight to the Death Although conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret is in how you approach and handle the conflict. How Can I Get My Partner To Change? How much energy do you spend trying to get what you want from your partner? Think about it for a moment - how much of your thinking time is spent on what to say to your partner to get him or her to be the way you want him or her to be?Many of us spend a lot of time thinking about how to get what we want from our partner - how to get our partner to open up, be more caring, see us, love us, pay attention to us, spend time with us, have sex with us, and so on. We spend at lot of energy trying to get what we want from our partner because we believe that if only we do it right - behave right or say the right thing - we can have control over getting our partner to change. Never Ever Show Youre Jealous O.k. To Love Or To Be In Love What is the basic difference between loving someone and being in love with the person? Before we can be sure that we have found true love, we need to be sure what these two terminologies mean.Is it possible to meet someone, connect with the person and love the person's personality, way of life, etc? Truly be comfortable with such a person? Certainly! Most of us know significant others in our lives who fall into this category. Save Your Relationships (5 Easy Steps To A Winning Relationship) We all enter relationships hoping they will make us happy. Each person has a shopping list of hopes and expectations, secret demands he/she makes on their partners. Relationhip Advice: How to Have Fun Together Work. Bills. Diamond Promise Rings - For When You Mean It Diamond promise rings are quite common, but many are not all that sure what they are. What is a promise ring? And what does it mean?Promise rings (all of them, not just diamond promise rings, I just love diamond ones) are a symbol of a promise made between 2 people that both intend to keep. Great Relationships: How to Solve Problems and Have Fun Too I recently came across this quote:"There is a time in the life of every problem when it is big enough to notice and small enough to solve."When problems come in our relationships they can bring a great deal of stress into our lives. Is Your Negative Thinking Scaring Off Your Soul Mates? Francine Bonnecelli* swore off relationships the day her husband of nine years left her for a twenty-something barmaid in San Francisco. Even though this was her third marriage, she felt three was the charm and, after all, he showed all the qualities in a soul mate and a marriage partner that no one had ever shown her. Love is Not Supposed to Hurt Questions and Answers:I often feel sad in my relationship, what can I do about it?I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells, is that normal?I feel different from how I used to feel, like I've lost my sense of self. Why?What can I do if my partner switches demeanors like Jekyll and Hyde?How can I stop my boyfriend from humiliating me, degrading me, and putting me down?Here are your answers:I often feel sad in my relationship, what can I do about it? If you feel sad in your relationship most, if not all of the time, then it is time that you really asked yourself if this relationship is bringing you joy MOST of the time. How to Ask for a Gratifying Sex Life So your relationship has changed over the years since you said "I do" and sex isn't what it use to be. First you should know that this is normal and common place in the majority of marriages.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2010 |
