Wow, Grandma Is Dating!

Wow, Grandma Is Dating!

When Lena, 52, began dating, her son, Paul, joined the same dating site. Together, mother and son set out to find love. Lena's family was concerned for her. After 30 years of marriage, she was very vulnerable. What did she know about dating or sexually transmitted diseases? Lena knew one thing: love does not have a best-before date.

Lena is one of many fiery over 50 dames with lots of life. The idea of dating put a sparkle into her eyes. After a few unproductive "let's meet for coffee" dates, she struck gold! Ryan, whom she met in her doctor's waiting room, was everything she hoped for. A widower without children, Ryan was like a breath of fresh air. He put romance and zest into her life. They fell madly in love and lived happily ever after.

This is a dating dream come true for most older, single women. Today, dating over 50 is just as common as dating at a younger age. However, there are profound differences in life circumstances and experiences.

Unfortunately, not all dating adventures of older singles have happy endings. Dating at a mature age comes with baggage. Ex wives, stepchildren, step-grandchildren, in-laws, lifestyles or commitments, just to name a few. This baggage prevents many singles from creating close relationships. Yet, there are good news for all mature singles, who have not found their "one and only":

As a mature person you have qualities such patience, integrity, and wisdom and are much better equipped for relationship success than the younger generation. Use exactly those qualities to find love and avoid silly dating etiquettes. While dating can be fun and highly entertaining, for most singles over 50 it is about finding a life-mate. Regardless of your relationship history, love can last the second time around. Just trust your instinct and follow these common sense tips:

BE TRUTHFUL about yourself. Naturally you want to paint your very best picture, but the key to finding a compatible love is being authentic instead of pretending. Being real may not guarantee a huge number of dates, but at this stage in your life it is about quality, not quantity. You are mature and don't need a black book filled with admirers.

RESPECT that a first date is like a fishing trip. Both parties want to determine if there is enough interest for a second date. Be on time and be interested in your date. Share your likes and dislikes openly. By all means give each other a chance, but if you are not interested, make it easy to call the quits. Treat your date the way you would want to be treated. TIME is of essence.

This begs the question as to when a relationship begins. You have graduated from the coffee shop to seeing a movie. He wined and dinned you and now invites you to a barbeque with friends. While this is not a marriage proposal, it is nevertheless personal. No red flags have popped up yet and you accept the invitation. This has the potential for a relationship. Now is the time to get to know him instead of looking over the shoulder for other suitors. Here is why: often relationships between dating singles never develop because they are occupied with multiple dates. Sleeping with multiple dates is morally irresponsible to each one. Be as responsible as you would be to your best friend, because he may be that some day.

3. Authenticity: Love only happens when you are realHave you ever found yourself laughing simply because everyone else did?

Told someone had a fabulous time when you didn't or said: "I love you" when you didn't mean it? Did you ever do something inconsistent with your true self just to please someone or get what you wanted? Of course we all have. We have lost the bravery to be real! For many there is quite a gap between the person inside and the person we present to the world. In the competitive world of dating misrepresentation is at an all time high. If you seek love, forget about how to make him fall in love with you. Forget about Mars and Venus, in the real world we are all human beings first, men and women second. Most singles over 50 want to love and belong. Wear what makes you feel like a million dollar babe, not what you think impresses him. While you are not to disclose your sexual history on a first date, be straightforward on topics that you are comfortable with. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be authentic and be honest! Don't waste your precious time pretending to be what you are not. You may not land many second dates, but at this stage it is about quality, not quantity. Love only happens when you are real.

These three universal principles are no-fail dating concepts that keep you sane and on the road to love. To boost your dating success, Ivana Trump is adding a bonus for all the fabulous and mature women. In her new TV show she introduces older women to younger men. Sounds like the Demi Moore style of dating is gaining popularity. With quite a few older men dating much younger women, Ivana is orchestrating a balancing act. Love has no boundaries, is ageless and keeps you young. Maybe Ivana's reality show will get you in the groove.

© 2004 Allie Ochs, relationship expert, coach, speaker and the author of "Are You Fit To Love?" ISBN 0-9720227-9-1. Her articles are published in numerous magazines and newsletters. Visit her website at www.fit2love.com

Allie Ochs is a speaker, relationship coach and author of: Are You Fit To Love? Her book has received the honorable mention at the USA 2004 Best Book Awards. She has appeared on TV, Radio and is published in numerous magazines and newsletters. Visit her website http://www.fit2love.com and take the Fit 2 Love test.

Relationships, communication theme of Friday's Warner Robins council retreat Macon Telegraph (blog) After ending at 7 pm Friday, the retreat will continue Saturday from 8 am to 3:30 pm OV Brantley, a former attorney for Fulton County governmental bodies, told council members their internal relationships are important to strong operations and images. and more »

PsychCentral.com

Optimal conversation lowers stress in relationships Times of India Young couples who easily engage in rewarding conversations with their partners, experience less relationship stress and higher satisfaction, say researchers. According to research from Kansas State University, young adults who have optimal conversation ... Going With the Flow of Talk Brings Couples CloserPsychCentral.com all 12 news articles »

CBC.ca

Depression Linked To Adolescent Bullying Medical News Today "Often the assumption is that problematic peer relationships drive depression. We found that depression symptoms predicted negative peer relationships. We examined the issue from both directions but found no evidence to suggest that peer relationships ... Depressed Adolescents More Likely to be BulliedPsychCentral.com Depressed adolescents likelier to be bulliedTimes of India Depressed adolescents more likely to be targets of bullying: StudyHealthJockey.com U.S. News & World Report -Expatriate Healthcare all 46 news articles »

Cara Dorris '15: The fiction of relationship? The Brown Daily Herald Most people will tell you that there are two types of relationships at Brown: rigid, Facebook-official romances and hurried, efficient and occasionally chronic hookups. Though there are exceptions, most of us brag that we're too busy, even too selfish ... and more »

The Link Between Obesity and the Early Mother-Child Relationship The Atlantic Instead of focusing on the body's energy balance, the researchers suggest improving the mother-toddler relationship, often called attachment. The researchers explored the effect of maternal-child bonding during the preschool years on the likelihood of ... and more »

Jamie Kennedy Talks Relationships, Valentine's Day Plans and Playing 'Cupid ... Hollywood Reporter As for his research of the role, the actor joked, "I went to Zales," before admitting, "I think I've been in enough relationships that that was my research." Not that he claims to know what he's doing. "Being in all of my relationships, I'm even more ... and more »

Healthy relationship examples crucial for youth, experts say Maxwell Gunter Dispatch In the race to stop domestic violence, educating children before they date can provide the awareness for healthy relationships when they become adults. In the crucial years before youth start dating, parents and peers impact children's perceptions of ... and more »

Relationships Art Exhibit at the SCAHC Gallery in Sussex NorthJersey.com (press release) In the Relationships Art Exhibit, the Sussex County Arts and Heritage Council is asking artists to explore, well, relationships—any relationship. And what seems to be a traditional subject for art can prove to have numerous possibilities when viewed ... and more »

Love Triangles: And Kitty Makes Three Patch.com When pets and relationships collide, there are better answers than dumping one of the feuding parties. This shorthair cat is available for adoption from the Santa Monica Animal Shelter. For more information, contact Sharon Hardy, owner of Sweet Potato ... and more »

Care2.com

Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship Care2.com Avoiding this critical juncture in your relationship is rarely about finding the right card or gift on Valentine's Day. The attention and emotional connection that is lacking in a relationship happens over time, eating away at the confidence and trust ...