Relationships Tips

Relationship Advice: 7 Strategies for a Great Relationship


1. Commitment

True commitment means much more than simply committing to staying married. Here's one of my favorite quotes about marriage: ``When you marry, you don't marry one person, you marry three: The person you think he is; the person he really is; and the person he is going to become as a result of marrying you.''

Key strategy: Genuine commitment involves being committed to the growth and best interest of your partner. Or as one wise married person said to me, ``What's good for my partner, is good for me.''

2. Teamwork

There was once a couple who went by the name of Mr. Neat and Ms. Clean. Mr. Neat could bathe in a shower full of soap scum and not mind at all as long as the towels and soap were neat and in their place. Ms. Clean could have piles and piles of stuff scattered everywhere, as long as the piles were clean. This couple can have either a very neat and clean home or a real mess on their hands, depending on their ability to work together as a team.

Key strategy: Use the five most important words in marriage: ``Let's try it your way.''

3. Communication

Without exception, every couple I have ever worked with struggles with effective communication. Part of the reason is that two people with the exact same communication style rarely marry each other. Because of this factor, we oftentimes misunderstand what the other person is saying and then react to what we think we have heard.

Key strategy: Use the 10 most important words in marriage _ ``Let me see if I get what you are saying.''

4. Meeting emotional needs

In the same way that two people with the same communication style rarely marry each other, spouses rarely have the same emotional needs. What happens is that each of us give what we would most like to get, but the other person may not want that at all.

Key strategy: Discover and then meet the emotional needs of your partner. How? Simple. Just ask!

5. Resolving conflict

Conflict in marriage is inevitable. Fighting is optional.

For some folks that's a revolutionary idea. The bottom line is that many times in marriage you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy, but you can't be both.

Key strategy: Stay away from ``my way'' or ``your way'' battles. Focus on ``our way'' solutions, or as Stephen Covey says, ``win-win'' solutions.

6. Apology & forgiveness

"Love means never having to say you're sorry" the theme from the movie "Love Story" has just one problem - one person died and the couple didn't get to see the long-term damage of never saying you're sorry.

Key strategy: On a regular basis, practice the three A's of successful relationships: Apologize for something from the past, appreciate something in the present and anticipate something in the future.

7. Creating a relationship vision

Most couples spend more time planning a three-day getaway than they do planning what kind of marriage they would like to have. Vision has been defined as ``the ability to see beyond the probable by envisioning the possible ... the act of dreaming without restriction opens up possibilities that you could not have considered before ... ``

Key strategy: Ask yourself and each other this question - "If we knew we couldn't fail, and we could design our relationship any way that we wanted it, how would we like it to be?"

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.


MORE RESOURCES:

Reflections: Relationships are gifts in life
GoErie.com
Life is relationship! It is impossible to be alive and not be in relationship. You are in relationship with everything around you. At this very moment, you are in relationship with the world around you through the breath you take, through the sights ...



Relationships, communication theme of Friday's Warner Robins council retreat
Macon Telegraph (blog)
After ending at 7 pm Friday, the retreat will continue Saturday from 8 am to 3:30 pm OV Brantley, a former attorney for Fulton County governmental bodies, told council members their internal relationships are important to strong operations and images.

and more »


CBC.ca

Depression Linked To Adolescent Bullying
Medical News Today
"Often the assumption is that problematic peer relationships drive depression. We found that depression symptoms predicted negative peer relationships. We examined the issue from both directions but found no evidence to suggest that peer relationships ...
Depressed Adolescents More Likely to be BulliedPsychCentral.com
Depressed adolescents likelier to be bulliedTimes of India
Depressed adolescents more likely to be targets of bullying: StudyHealthJockey.com
U.S. News & World Report -Expatriate Healthcare
all 46 news articles »


Cara Dorris '15: The fiction of relationship?
The Brown Daily Herald
Most people will tell you that there are two types of relationships at Brown: rigid, Facebook-official romances and hurried, efficient and occasionally chronic hookups. Though there are exceptions, most of us brag that we're too busy, even too selfish ...

and more »


PsychCentral.com

Optimal conversation lowers stress in relationships
Times of India
Young couples who easily engage in rewarding conversations with their partners, experience less relationship stress and higher satisfaction, say researchers. According to research from Kansas State University, young adults who have optimal conversation ...
Going With the Flow of Talk Brings Couples CloserPsychCentral.com

all 12 news articles »


Healthy relationship examples crucial for youth, experts say
Maxwell Gunter Dispatch
In the race to stop domestic violence, educating children before they date can provide the awareness for healthy relationships when they become adults. In the crucial years before youth start dating, parents and peers impact children's perceptions of ...

and more »


Relationships Art Exhibit at the SCAHC Gallery in Sussex
NorthJersey.com (press release)
In the Relationships Art Exhibit, the Sussex County Arts and Heritage Council is asking artists to explore, well, relationships—any relationship. And what seems to be a traditional subject for art can prove to have numerous possibilities when viewed ...

and more »


Jamie Kennedy Talks Relationships, Valentine's Day Plans and Playing 'Cupid ...
Hollywood Reporter
As for his research of the role, the actor joked, "I went to Zales," before admitting, "I think I've been in enough relationships that that was my research." Not that he claims to know what he's doing. "Being in all of my relationships, I'm even more ...

and more »


At NRC Hearing, Signs Of Improving Relationships
Fox Business
However, it offered several hints that personal relationships on the five-member commission may be improving less than two months after they boiled over at a pair of congressional hearings. The tensions have raised questions about the nuclear safety ...

and more »


Love Triangles: And Kitty Makes Three
Patch.com
When pets and relationships collide, there are better answers than dumping one of the feuding parties. This shorthair cat is available for adoption from the Santa Monica Animal Shelter. For more information, contact Sharon Hardy, owner of Sweet Potato ...

and more »

Google News

home | site map
© 2010