| |
| |
|
Relationships Information |
|
|
|
Relationhip Advice: 10 Magic Words
Just about every night at our house, we read a book called "Say The Magic Words Please" to our young son. The story has lots of magic words, such as "please," "thank you" and "excuse me." Why am I telling you this? Well, the other night the book got me to wondering about what the "magic words" might be for couples. You know, all those words and phrases we tend to forget after a few years of marriage. As a result of my wondering, and a highly scientific poll (I asked my wife, my friends and my clients, in that order), here are a few suggestions: "I Love You" - Gotta start there. They are such simple little words, yet if left unspoken, they can cause a lot of damage. When a person begins to believe that they are no longer loved, bad things start to happen fairly quickly. "Let's try it your way" - It's human nature to want to be right. For some, it's an addiction. Having the grace to say "Let's try it your way" says that you not only value the other person, you think you made a good choice as well. "Maybe you're right" - A cousin to "Let's try it your way," these words make room for the possibility that there is another valid point of view besides your own. "How can I show you I love you today?" - What a grand invitation! Imagine what it would feel like to hear that on a regular basis. "I'm sorry I hurt you" - So necessary yet at times so hard to say. Remember the '70s movie "Love Story" and its famous theme: "Love is never having to say you're sorry"? That just doesn't work in the real world. People tend to overlook the fact that in the movie the woman died young before we could see the long-term results of never saying you're sorry. "Please forgive me" - Usually needs to follow "I'm sorry." Many husbands have told me they feel they should wear a T-shirt that says "I'M SORRY." My question to them (and often to myself) is, "Do you follow it up with 'Please forgive me?' " Anyone can say "I'm sorry." That's fairly easy. "Please forgive me" does at least three important things: Acknowledges the hurt. Requires more vulnerability. Comes with a commitment not to hurt again, to change. Other magic words: Say your vows again. A real marriage, a continual wedding, if you will, needs much more than a one-time recitation of vows. Marriage enrichment experts Joe and Barbara Mills recommend that couples restate their vows at least once a year. "Would you like to go on a date with me this Saturday night?" When was the last time you asked your partner for a date? We all like to be courted, so call them up and ask them out! How about right now? If you're at home, go to a neighbor's house and call. Just do it. The results can be pretty cool. "Hi, I just called to say I'm thinking of you." Enough said. "How am I doing as a spouse and partner?" This one is only for the strong at heart. Most of us never got any hands-on instruction on how to do this marriage thing. We just make it up as we go along. Having the guts to ask how you are doing lets your partner know at least three things: The relationship is very important to you. You are willing to learn. You are willing to change if needed. So there we are, a few magic words for a marriage. How might your relationship be if you practiced these magic words, say, one a week for the next 10 weeks? Jeff Herring is a Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Syndicated Relationship Columnist. Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for more relationship tips and tools, a free internet newsletter and free e-programs to enrich your relationship
MORE RESOURCES:
Jamie Kennedy Talks Relationships, Valentine's Day Plans and Playing 'Cupid ... - Hollywood Reporter
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Destroyers of Relationships Communication and listening is very important in any relationship. For it says in Amos 3:3 Do two walk together unless they agreed to do so? Honesty is another factor in a relationship in Colossians 3:9 it says Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Blondes Talking About Blondes! What is it about blondes that both sexes find so appealing? We are drawn to them like we are drawn to gold or a great barbequed steak and a beer. Although there is no denying brunettes and red heads can be every bit as gorgeous, there is something about blonde colored hair that demands instant attention. Stop Making Relationship Mistakes! Avoid Another Unhappy Relationship! It is possible for women to steer clear of an unhappy relationship. However, it will require taking an honest look at themselves and their relationship mistakes. Relationship Advice: 4 Steps to a Genuine Apology A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment, forgiveness and repentance.1) ApologizeI've come to dislike the words "I'm sorry" because they're so easily said that they've lost their meaning. Lists, Lists, and More Lists Every person that thinks something is amiss in their relationship wants to know, what are the signs that my partner is cheating on me. Well guess what! These signs can leave you with more doubts than anything else. Gay Breakups: When the Rainbow Ends Introduction"It just hit me out of the blue when Mike left me. We hadn't really been together all that long, but I thought I'd finally found my true soul mate. Finding a Life Partner Dear Candace,I'm 35 years old and ready to open my heart to a true partner. I have honored myself in the past by leaving relationships that weren't right, yet I wonder if my idea of how I think it is supposed to be is preventing me from creating what I truly want. An Introduction to Relationships "Love makes the world go around" was true when it was first uttered many years ago and remains just as true today. Love is what everybody is after. How Compatible Are You and Your Partner? What are the things you argue about? Where are the disagreements? The small resentments? Where do you have to give in to get along?Do you argue over money? Are you fighting over sex? Do you have different ideas about how much time you should spend together and apart? Do you squabble over extended family and friends? Is one of you daring and reckless, while the other wants to play things safe? Does one of you want to be right all the time? Does one of you want to always be in control? Do you disagree about the fun activities in your life?Couples may have conflict over many areas but do you know there is a simple explanation for the conflict? When looking for a life partner, it is a good idea to take a close look at your "Need Strength Profile", based on Dr. William Glasser's work in the area of Choice Theory. Jewish Dating: It Pays to Date Other Like-Minded People Searching for the perfect mate can be one of life's greatest challenges.After all, forever is a long time. The Freedom to Fall So you want a soulmate do you? Okay not necessarily something that big and cosmic but 'happily ever after' would suffice just fine. Maybe you have somewhat of an idea the type of person you're looking for and you want to place your order with the cosmos - 'one true love meant for only me, please and thank you. When A Two-Salary Income Fails While this may not apply to everyone, you may find that a second salary brings in substantially less than you thought it would. In the beginning, Rachael thought that since she and her husband were just about breaking even as a couple, that staying home with the new baby would not work -- infant needs seemed endless. Your Beloved Soldier Is Coming Home - Now What? Your Beloved Soldier Is Coming Home - Now What?Laura anxiously anticipates the return of her husband Dan. What will it be like and what should she do? After all, he is not returning from a successful business trip or golf weekend. My Fairy Tale Is Gone Dear Candace,My girlfriend and I recently split up. I called her a few days ago and she said that it was over and that she did not want to discuss it with me anymore, that I had gotten on her nerves to the point where she didn't see any point in communicating with me, ever. The Healing Power of Forgiveness People who experience bad health often have major league forgiveness issues in their lives. When we hold negativity in our energy field, inevitably it expresses itself as physical disharmony or bad health. The Flames of Love Suppose you have everything; a good job, good health, good reputation, good relationships and lot of money to spend. But still there is something missing from your life. Never Ever Show Youre Jealous O.k. How To Give Women What They Want and Need-The Forgotten Method of Wooing Remember When?When you were in elementary school, high school, and maybe even college, when you had something to say to your girlfriend, fiancée or what-have-you, what was the medium you used to convey those special thoughts? The handwritten note. If you didn't use this method, where were you in your youth-in your cupboard underneath the stairs?Something to Think AboutHere's something for you to chew on-when you receive a letter from a friend or relative, what do you expect--maybe a printed letter, right? Okay, that's fine. Communicate through Body-language! Consider a person very important to you. He or she keeps on talking to the extent of boring you and make you feel like escaping from that place. How do We Change our Self Esteem Perception? Many of us have heard about the power of positive thinking to effect a change. The idea is not new, it stems from modern psychology as well as from ancient spiritual teachings.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2010 |
