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Relationships Information |
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How To Change A Loved Ones Annoying Habits
Is there someone close to you who has an annoying habit you want changed? Perhaps a partner's controlling streak, a family member's back seat driving, or a friend's incessant unsolicited advice. If this has become a source of conflict in your relationship and you have tried everything you know, without success, to change them, why keep trying everything you know? Insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again expecting different results. For different results, take different actions. Instead of reacting and allowing those annoying habits to push your same buttons, try surrendering to them. Instead of trying to change them, try accepting them. When you let go of your need to change someone, you also release your grip on them to be who they are, as they are. When you resist something, it only gains more power. Resisting a loved one's annoying habit will only create the energy for them to do it more. This neither helps you nor them, but only feeds into the endless cycle. The next time you are faced with their annoying habit, take a deep breath and recognize it as an opportunity to practice acceptance, patience and unconditional love. The only way to strengthen these qualities within us is to put them into daily practice until they become a part of us. What a wonderful opportunity you have been given, then! It is a chance for you to rise and shine. It is a chance for you to be that better person, the person you want to be and know you already are deep down, the person with integrity, character, compassion and wisdom. When our buttons are pushed, we often react from conditioned responses, from habitual patterns we may not be conscious of initially. And before we know it, we're in the middle of a full-out argument with our loved one and exchanging heated words and negative energy. We need something to help remind us of the newfound opportunity so that we may view it with different eyes, instead of catapult us back into our habitual patterns of resistance, frustration, annoyance and resentment. Training ourselves to take a deep breath at the instance of resistance serves a dual purpose. One, it helps us to slow down, to act instead of react, and serves as a reminder to look at the bigger picture. And two, it delivers more oxygen into our brain which helps to give us mental clarity and calm. While it may be difficult in the moment to be thankful to the person pushing your buttons, and you may initially find yourself doing it through gritted teeth, it is helpful to remember that you are in control of your buttons. You are the one allowing them to be pushed or not. Getting annoyed at something another person does has absolutely nothing to do with the other person or their actions. This is so vital, it merits repeating. Getting annoyed at something another person does has absolutely nothing to do with the other person or their actions. The lesson is not about THEM changing, it is about YOU changing. Your best chance to change someone else is to change yourself. Accepting someone else exactly as they are creates the positive, supportive energy for them to take a look at themselves on their own and instigate inner changes without the added resistance of your judgments upon them. There is transformational power in acceptance and nonresistance. Life naturally flows toward evolution, wholeness and purity. If we try to force it upon someone sooner than they feel ready, we only hold them back. It takes time to develop, grow and blossom into our true potential as human beings. While it may take time before you can seize each opportunity with genuine gratitude, rest assured that before long, their annoying habit will no longer be an annoyance to you and you may be surprised, though it is not uncommon, to find it gone completely. Teresa Franklyn is author and publisher of The Daily Dose, a popular inspirational online publication. Visit her at http://www.followyoursoul.com for more inspiring articles.
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