| |
| |
|
Relationships Information |
|
|
|
Being Dumped, Just Plain Sucks!
Today I received a question from a guy. Here is what he said: "Posted by Anonymous The last woman I was involved with was quite full of herself. So then why did she dump me?" And my answer to him was this... "Posted by Dorothy Hey there, sorry to hear about your being dumped. Not knowing either of you, it is really hard to answer that question. There are many reasons for people walking away from a relationship. It could have plain worn out. Also they could have found someone else. Either way, it sucks, and you have to deal with the pain, and learn to get on with your life. It is a challenge, but it does make you aware, of what being human is all about. There is a saying; "If it doesn`t kill you. it will only make you stronger." Also I am a firm believer in: " Things do happen for a reason." Hang in there, things will get better, if you let them. Take Care and thank you for sharing that with me." "Being Dumped" really is one of the worst experiences, short of death that we, as humans are faced with in our lives. They say that, death of a loved one is easier to learn to live with, than a break-up , "Being Dumped" or rejection. All of the above, tell us that we are unacceptable to someone. We immediatley turn it into ourselves and that's when the self-blame seed is sown. Through self-blame we begin to feel shame. Shame is so painful, that no one talks about it or even wants to think about it. Shame is the least identified emotion we as humans deal with, because we are ashamed of our shame. Shame, is yet another negative emotion, that captures and imprisons us in a pit of hell. It pulls us into a life of silence and inactivity, lying and hiding our true fears. When we are rejected in any situation, it is a true hit to our self-esteem. If we are weak in that area, then our fall is going to be very hard. If we are strong in that area, we will quickly become weak. I wrote this in a recent blog: "When we first fall in love; What is that saying, "Love is Blind"? Ha! Now that's funny, because it really is blind. We trust so instantly and genuinely that we potentially set ourselves up for the biggest fall in our lives. Why is that? Is it because we are so driven by nature to want to trust someone? Or is trusting someone just a happier, easier, way of life." So there it is, we as humans, live to love and want to be loved. We are blinded by the romance of the word ~ LOVE~. We are made happy by the word~LOVE~, but we are also hurt by the word ~LOVE~. So why do we continually set ourselves up? We are gambling, and we do not even know it. Or, is life simply just that, a gamble? The bottom line is, no one wants to get "DUMPED", because it is not in our nature to know how to accept it. How many of you have been, "DUMPED" and just knew that your life had ended? You just knew that you will never see anything the same again. Well, you were partly correct there. It is like any other change in our lives. Things will be different than we are use to. Your life has definitely not ended. Yes, your partnership has ended with a person, and maybe it was not expected, but nor are hurricanes or wars. We deal with it all, we have to. We chose to survive. Think of it as starting a new life. Newness is positive and healthy. Look at things differently, and embrace all that newness. Do not fear it. "BEING DUMPED", is just another chapter in your book of life. If you had no chapters, think how dull your book would be. Now, you can open your self to another chapter, and believe me, there are many. If you spend the rest of your life wondering all the "WHY`S", just think, you have wasted even more of your precious time on something that has chosen another road. As for the fact that a person is, full of themselves, that really has nothing to do with the "Why's" of "Being Dumped". Even the most confident people close doors on relationships. They in fact, have more courage to do so than a person of less confidence, or being less full of themselves, so to speak. Who Knows? All we know is that the decision has been made and you as a person, with intelligence, must turn the page. Getting stuck in that feeling just makes therapists rich. (wink) Life offers many, many humps and bumps. We trip and fall, over and over again. The trick is to get real good at picking yourself up and dusting off the old dirt. This is life. I told my daughter, when she was struck by her first cupids arrow, "If you are going to get emotionally involved, be prepared to get emotionally uninvolved." It's life! One very important thing we must remember; when we are at the bottom and we feel we are worthless and will never ever TRUST again, it's is a nothing more than a human emotion. We know it as doubt. We can over come doubt very easily. Look in the mirror, and tell yourself, that you are UNIQUE, and you are going to make happiness your goal. You must risk all the falls to reach that goal. Letting yourself believe that you are deserving of another relationship is truly a risk, again another gamble. But what is life without a little risk? We have the power to overcome our negative self. We just need to DO IT!! "Self doubt is not an option! Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we often might gain by fearing attempt." Dorothyhttp://www.womensselfesteem.comhttp://www.justblogme.com/dorothyemail- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Jamie Kennedy Talks Relationships, Valentine's Day Plans and Playing 'Cupid ... - Hollywood Reporter
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Beware of Becoming a Professional Online Dater Every year, hundreds of thousands of people find their "perfect match" through online dating services. And every year hundreds of thousands more become discouraged from their experiences. Little Help Finding Love Online Visit the dating sites.If finding love online is what you're after then the most important thing you can do is to get out there and network with fellow singles. When Groucho Marx Got It Right Groucho Marx was, I believe, a comic genius; a linguistic virtuoso, offbeat, wacky and insanely funny. He was also rude, abrasive and these days he'd qualify as verbally abusive. Attention Guys: Impress Your Girls - Send Flowers! Remember that big hug she gave you when you got her fresh flowers? It doesn't have to only happen on Valentine's Day. Everybody knows that women love to get them, so why is it that men rarely send flowers?When men buy flowers they often find it an intimidating experience. Relationship Advice: Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair "But we're just friends" are four of the most dangerous words for your marriage.But over and over in my office and on the phone I hear it: "We are just friends, there is nothing going on. The Secret of Relationship Success With a divorce rate in this country that approaches50%, and a fairly sizable percentage of marriages thataren't particularly blissful, it's difficult to avoidsearching for the answer to the battle of the sexes.Would you like to stop searching?We've moved through the old paradigm of gettingyour needs met in relationships, and it has provenitself to be a miserable failure. Your Relationships Begin With You As a single male in my mid-twenties, I find myself consciously and unconsciously thinking about and searching for that special someone. My goal has always been to be friends with my future wife for at least a year, date for a year, engaged for a year, which includes being married by the time I'm thirty. Relationship Conflict: The 3 Cs of Resolving Conflict "And they lived happily ever after.. Do Men Just Want Mommy? Accomplished women are losers in romance claims NY Times columnist Maureen Dowd in her column titled "Men Just Want Mommy." She says powerful men want to marry women who are caretakers like secretaries, assistants, nannies, flight attendants, etc. 9 Myths About Being Single More than 48% of US households are headed by unmarried individuals. The American Association for Single People projects that by 2010, 47. Are You A Hopium Addict? Are You A 'Hopium Addict?'If the question alone was enough to make you recoil in horror, it doesn't necessarily mean that the term couldn't possibly apply to you. You may not have heard the term before, but your reaction may be because you are a closet hopium addict. Noon (A Love Story) Noon(A Short Love story,dedicated to my wife Rosa)Marina, raised and born in Huancayo, Peru. Young and beautiful fell in love with Winston, a handsome man, but not of her culture, rather he was quite the opposite in that he was a gringo, as she called him, and she an Inca, as he called her; but love flowed, and it was as should be, love at first sight, and a lasting love. The 4 Deadly Mistakes of Wife Seduction When a guy gets turned down over and over again (during the seduction process) in his relationship with his wife (or girlfriend) he often attempts to make adjustments. You are about to learn the 4 deadly mistakes guys make when attempting to correct the problem with their "not in the mood" female partner. Great Relationships: 4 More Dumb MIstakes and 4 Smarter Moves to Make 1) Treat the family you have come from as more important than the family you are creating. Put your parents' opinion and happiness above those of your spouse. The Top 10 Ways to Keep Passion in Your Relationship All long-term relationships go through a variety of phases. There is the initial dating and courtship and infatuation period. A Womans World Women are simply wonderful don't you think? This question is not just aimed at us men but to women also! Throughout my life women have played a massive part in my upbringing from my Mother, my Aunts and to my very lovely and sadly missed Grandmother. These women have nurtured me and shown me what it takes to really be a man. You CAN Improve Your Relationship It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant others and parenting children are two of the most difficult jobs we face and yet we get no formal training in either. It's as if people believe that we are born with an inherent ability to do these two things. Mental Abuse - The 7 Most Important Things To Know 1. Sticks and stones won't break my bones" - and words won't leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. Relationship Tips 101 In this article I'd like to share what the research shows as being very helpful for keeping relationships strong and connected. Since 1973 Dr. Setting Boundaries: Business Clients and Boyfriends Setting boundaries is necessary in any human relationship.Whether you're dealing with an overly demanding business client or a boyfriend with wandering hands, sometimes you just have to say "No!"In fact, there are many parallels creating successful relationships with business clients and boyfriends.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2010 |
