| |
| |
|
Relationships Information |
|
|
|
Secrets of the Opposite Sex
Secrets of the Opposite Sex Many jokes, problems, and conversations revolve aroundcommunications differences between men and women. Women areoften teased for gabbing, nagging and chattering on aboutnothing. Men are often accused of not listening, not payingattention, or dominating the conversation when conversingwith a woman. These problems occur because each genderroutinely misinterprets the other's nonverbal and verballistening cues. During conversation, most women tend to give considerablenonverbal communications feedback, such as nodding andsmiling, as well as frequent verbal feedback, like: > "I know what you mean" > "Uh, huh" > "Right. Exactly!" This type of feedback lets the speaker know he or she ismaking sense. It is the typically feminine communicationsstyle developed from childhood onward. Most men, on the other hand, do not provide much nonverbalcommunications feedback, tending to remain silent whenlistening to a speaker. They focus on what the speaker issaying, and consider it to be polite to be expressionlessand silent. This is the typically male communications stylelearned from early childhood. These differences inlistening styles often cause dysfunctional communicationsbetween men and women. When a man speaks with a woman, he may frequentlymisinterpret the listening cues provided by the womanbecause his primary experiences are with men; and viceversa. Her nonverbal feedback (nodding and smiling) and verbalcomments ("I know what you mean," etc.) are usually merelyintended by her to indicate that she understands his pointand that he is making sense. His usual interpretation,however, is that she is providing significant encouragementfor him to keep on talking! Because most men find itdifficult to resist such positive encouragement, it is notsurprising that they may appear to dominate suchconversations. When a woman speaks with a man, she may often misread hislistening cues. His normally sparse nonverbal feedback(little or no change in facial expression) and generalsilence while she is speaking are usually intended by him toindicate that he is paying close attention and concentratingon her words. Her usual interpretation, however, is that he must be boredand/or she is not making sense to him. Because most womenfind it difficult to proceed under such negativecircumstances, a typical reaction is to cut short additionalremarks, or to repeat some things for attemptedclarification, or even to ask if he understands what shesaid. He may then misinterpret her reaction to be anindication that she was just gabbing, or chattering, thatshe was nagging him, or that she is unsure of what she wassaying. Each becomes a victim of his/her own listeningcues, while the stereotypical gender differences arereinforced and passed on as absolute truths! To help make mixed gender conversations work more smoothly,men and women need to understand more about the other'slistening cues. Men should try to provide more nonverbal andverbal feedback while listening to female speakers. They should also realize that the typically moredemonstrative verbal and nonverbal feedback provided bywomen is generally intended as subtle encouragement for thespeaker - it is not a rousing endorsement of the speaker'soratory skills. Women should learn not to be overlyconcerned if the men they are talking with don't provide thescope of listening cues they are accustomed to receiving.They should understand that, usually, if a male listener isquiet and stone-faced, he is listening intently. So ladies, if you see that face, don't ask him if heunderstands what you just said! Kirstin Carey is a consultant, award winning speaker, and author of "PowHERful Communications for Women Who Want to be Heard." As a woman business owner, Kirstin fully understands what is necessary for women to be successful entrepreneurs. To find out how you too can love your business everyday and live the entrepreneurial life you want, visit http://www.powherful.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Jamie Kennedy Talks Relationships, Valentine's Day Plans and Playing 'Cupid ... - Hollywood Reporter
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Lobster - The Food Of Romantics Summer has arrived! Woo-Hoo! Do you know what always comes along with summer? Well, besides the bugs! Weddings! Yeap, that's right, Weddings. But I've got an other one for you. Calming the Storm In Your Relationship IntroductionConflict in relationships is inevitable. Put two men together with their own sets of needs, values, personality traits, and life histories/experiences and you have a fertile ground for potential differences to cause clashes. The Wrong Kind of Love A lot of people have the wrong kind of love and don't even know it. If you are experiencing any of the following issues I have listed in this article, then you definitely have that wrong kind of love. Friendship - A Relation of Choice! IntroductionHave you ever heard or have you ever seen, father-son; mother-daughter; husband-wife; boss-subordinates; brother-sister as a friend? Might be yes, but how often and how genuine. At the end of a day, the message is, "mein tumhara baap hoon, jo mein kahta hoon, who karo" (I am your father, do what I say). Relationship Red Flags Do Appear Early On So often in the bloom of a new romance we set aside a few "minor" character flaws to let the relationship continue, where sometimes we really should just end it early, and cut our losses. I'll make a list of a few of the ones that often come up. How Do We Know When A Relationship Has A Future? In many instances, we all are "gun shy" after a short-or long-term relationship, because being hurt or feeling bad is not anoption.This stinging feeling tends to guide us as we clamor forsomething new or fresh. Whats The Attraction? Why do people have affairs? Why not do the 'right' thing and leave a marriage first if one is inclined to step out of it? The reasons are as varied as the people involved. Public perception of infidelity is someone with a sexual overdrive and their pants around their ankles, and while that may be true in some cases, it's not as common a reason as one would think. What Men Hate in Women Without wasting much time, here are some of the personality traits men hate in women:The "Bit_ _" - I have read in some popular women's magazines that men actually like women with the "B" attitude. This could not be farther from the truth. Communication Is The Key To A Lasting Relationship "If you are trying to find ways to lead a more fulfilled life, at some point the spotlight of your attention will fall on your various relationships - with family, lovers, friends and colleagues," stated Take Control of Your Life, one of the series in Time-Life Books.Relationship can bring great pleasure and satisfaction where they work and unhappiness when they don't. How To Slay The Toxic Dragon In Your Life How To "Slay The Dragon" In Your Life In Five Simple StepsAny time you spend around that toxic dragon , you are adding another cup full of misery to your life. You must accept that the toxic person you are with will not change, does not want to change, and does not want you to change. To Love Forever Emotionally healthy men and women almost always share their lives with lovers whose happiness is crucial to their own fulfillment -- even if they failed to understand the reciprocal nature of mutual satisfaction while they were young. In our youthful years we may be so filled with such intense sexual desires that we forget it really does take two to tango successfully for any length of time. Are You Paralysed By The Fear Of Future Regrets? Edith Piaf remains an icon and her best loved song, "Non, je ne regrette rien", remains an anthem in part because of the issues that so many of us have with regret. If the emotionally vulnerable Parisian sparrow could live free from regrets then maybe the rest us can also. Won Ton or Kreplach? How We Raise Children in Our Chinese-Jewish Family I always knew my Oriental wife was Jewish; after all, she grew up eating Chinese food!I grew up in a Jewish neighbourhood of Montreal. My mother is Sephardic Italian and my father is a Holocaust survivor from Poland. Lovers Quarrel One minute you seem like lovesick turtledoves teasing, laughing and giggling with all your might. Then a few minutes later, you begin yelling and berating each other and a lover's quarrel is already in progress. Pros and Cons of Online Relationships Modern technology hasn't solved any of the problems of creating and preserving a good relationship. Computers and the internet have merely added a new wrinkle in old pattern of love and loss. 7 Steps To Creating A Healthy Relationship Everything in life, in order to be a success, requires knowledge and education to some extent. We read, study and take courses on several subjects that we as human beings require in order to live the life we choose to live. Why Its Important to Stay in Contact with Your Friends when Youre in a Relationship So often when we begin to enter into a new relationship, it is very easy to get swept up by the romance, and leave behind our friends. With the wonderful bliss that you feel when you enter into a relationship it's easy to understand why we forget our friends and our everyday relationships. Single in a Couples World Advertising for St. Valentine's Day seemed more relentless than ever this year. A Kernel of Truth about Relationships: 4 Steps to Improvement It's all about relationships! proclaimed my father during our recent holiday visit with my parents. Santa Claus coffee cup in one hand and a wagging finger toward my wife, Elizabeth, with the other. How a Written Agreement Can Enhance Your Relationship Marital contracts have an honorable history going back thousands of years, but they have not been put to good use for modern couples. Instead they have developed a bad reputation for being legalistic, money-grubbing things, negatively preoccupied with all that might go wrong in the future, and too often used to strip a woman marrying a wealthy man of her rights to property, support, and inheritance.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2010 |
