Relationships Tips

Finding a Life Partner


Dear Candace,

I'm 35 years old and ready to open my heart to a true partner. I have honored myself in the past by leaving relationships that weren't right, yet I wonder if my idea of how I think it is supposed to be is preventing me from creating what I truly want. I don't want to settle. I met a man recently and was very excited after our first date, but on our 2nd date, he seemed more excited about the possibility of sex than having a relationship. Do you have any insight that would give me more peace in this part of my life? ~ Lisa

"Greetings and blessings to you precious one. It is important to not have too many ideas about how a spiritual partnership should look. One cannot know what is best for them and can only open up to allowing the universe to partner them up with the right person. There is not one particular person that is a soul mate to you. That is the bad news. The good news is that most of the men on the planet could be a soul mate to you when you truly become ready.

"To have the relationship that you want, it is as if you become ripe and ready to be plucked from being single, learning, growing, experiencing, and questioning. You become ripe for relationship. At the same moment that you become ripe, someone else on the planet will become ripe, and your paths will cross.

"There are many degrees of ripeness. You have crossed paths with some when you were unripe and so were they, and yet there was an attraction drawing you together. This was a process of learning and growing, so that you could become ripened and ready for plucking. You are still in that process and are very near to being ripe. It is now truly a matter of making a very deep decision. 'Now is the time, and I am open and ready to do this.' Then nothing will keep you from it. Then you have to get out of the way and allow the universe to set you up with the matching partner.

"It is one thing to have a list of requirements, and it is another thing to have faith in your Creator to match you up in full knowingness with the right partner for you, the one who will give you what it is you are truly seeking, which is growth, development, evolution, peace, love, happiness, distress, challenge, and everything that will give you your ultimate goal.

"Perhaps this person will not be in the package you have anticipated or may have issues that are very challenging. Perhaps that is the point, and perhaps not. Do not take the next person who steps into your life to be this life partner, but instead allow yourself to become fully ready, fully ripened. When the time comes and this person steps into your life, you will know it. You will not have doubts.

"There is much that you are open to, and there are fears as well. It is important to become willing to risk your worst fears and then find the freedom on the other side. Examine your fears. Experience them. Try them on. Share them with others. Learn to laugh at them. Play the game of asking, 'What is the worst that can happen; and when that happens, what would be the worst that can happen?' Take it to the end and see that whatever happens is not the end of the world. It is just something that happens.

"There are many countless rewards in receiving a life partner. Countless does not begin to describe it, and yet becoming a life partner is even richer. That is the process you are in now. Continue this unfolding of yourself, your heart, your mind, your fears, your dreams, and allow yourself to truly become ready, truly become open, and to know that all good things will be given to you as a result. You need not fear being alone forever, yet that is one of your fears to examine. Many gifts lay ahead of you, and it is important to be open to them so that you do not miss them on your journey.

"Blessings to you precious one. Amen."

Inspired by A Course in Miracles, Candace Doyle has been hearing and sharing the Voice of the Holy Spirit within her as a discernible, conversational Voice for over 10 years. Her spiritual advice column, Advice From Within, shares this small, still Voice with others in their times of need. Candace and her husband, DavidPaul, are also the authors of The Journey That Never Was, a guide to hearing God's Voice regardless of one's faith, religion, or personal beliefs. For more information, please visit their website at http://www.rightmindedness.com


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