| |
| |
|
Relationships Information |
|
|
|
My Life
My sister is 45 and having an affair with an old boyfriend from her youth. She says she loves him, he loves her, and they wish to pursue a life together. They are both married, though he is separated. My sister has a wonderful husband who is devoted to her even after discovering the affair. Our families are close, and we are in shock at this heartbreaking news. I believe my sister is going through a midlife crisis. Her husband is still willing to save the marriage, but he is tired of her obsession with this other man. My sister has three children, the youngest in his late teens. She quit college when she discovered she was pregnant and got married at age 20. Her husband finished his education, while my sister worked to support them. They were on the verge of financial security when she met up with her old boyfriend. One thing led to another. Now she and her husband will probably divorce. When all this started, she saw a counselor. She said the counselor commented her affair sounded like "a love story." I'm sure my sister told this professional only what she wanted and left out how she and her husband raised three wonderful children. Our whole family is distraught. We cannot figure out what went wrong. I am angry. We love our brother-in-law so much and are concerned about him and the children. She says they are doing fine and will get over it in a few years. My sister mentioned recently she "had to get married." I believe she is using that as a tool to rationalize what she has done. I feel I am standing back and watching her make the worst mistake of her life. How do I persuade my sister to seek professional help to guide her through this life-changing decision? Jocelyn Jocelyn, why can't you accept that your sister got married because she was pregnant? Why is that not the truth of how she ended up married? How many women have slept with a man they didn't love and wound up pregnant? Your sister is finally owning up to the truth. She got married because of a child. Now that the children are grown, she feels free to leave the marriage. In her mind, having a child trapped her, and the age of the children is now setting her free. You love your brother-in-law. But the reality in your mind is not the reality in your sister's mind. And counseling? Bah! Your sister went to a counselor to get the answer she wanted to hear, and now you want her to go to a counselor to get the answer you want to hear. People make up their mind to divorce or not to divorce from within their own breast. Perhaps it was your parents' choice that she married. You wish it to be your choice she doesn't divorce. Perhaps she is finally making her own choice. Will you still love your sister even though she makes decisions you don't approve of? At what point in life do we get to make our own decisions? Wayne & Tamara Personal Finance I'm usually good at deciding things, but this one's got me. I recently landed a good job that pays even more than my mother makes. My mom advised that I open a bank account jointly with her. Is this necessary? I mean, I'm 24. I live at home, but I contribute substantially. Sophia Sophia, in some circumstances it might be advantageous to share an account with your mother. For example, if she was elderly or infirm, adding your name to her account would allow you to bank for her. But there is no such reason here. Whoever controls your purse controls your life. You are an adult woman fully capable of managing your own affairs. That is what you should do. Wayne Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 11, 2004 About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
MORE RESOURCES:
Jamie Kennedy Talks Relationships, Valentine's Day Plans and Playing 'Cupid ... - Hollywood Reporter
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How to Start a Conversation With a Woman Last week I had the easiest pick up and seduction of a woman in my life, and it all started with me walking by a random girl and saying (using a clear, resonating voice and disinterested, but relaxed and sexual, body language), "Hey."She looked up, expecting me to say something interesting. Lists, Lists, and More Lists Every person that thinks something is amiss in their relationship wants to know, what are the signs that my partner is cheating on me. Well guess what! These signs can leave you with more doubts than anything else. Won Ton or Kreplach? How We Raise Children in Our Chinese-Jewish Family I always knew my Oriental wife was Jewish; after all, she grew up eating Chinese food!I grew up in a Jewish neighbourhood of Montreal. My mother is Sephardic Italian and my father is a Holocaust survivor from Poland. Never Ever Show Youre Jealous O.k. A Recipe For Romance So, tonight's the night. You want to have a Romantic evening with your Lady. Denial Is Not A River In Egypt Original it ain't, but it still merits repetition: "Denial is not a river in Egypt". What it is, is a highly addictive behaviour. Great Relationships: 7 Secrets You Must Know to Make It 1. CommitmentTrue commitment means much more than simply committing to staying married. Tune Up Your Relationship Why do some relationships last forever and others fall apart? Here are some ways you can make your partner feel appreciated again and prevent your relationship from becoming a casualty.1. Extreme Breakup Recovery: Maximum Healing / Minimum Time If you are going through the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup, feeling pain, anger and depression, know this: You don't need to suffer one more day over your ex! It doesn't matter how long you have suffered, it is time to give up the pain and open up to a life free of pain.You may feel that you can't stop clinging on to the past, but by clinging on to the past, you are stopping life. Five Telltale Signs That A Role Reversal Relationship Could Be Right For You Powerful, accomplished women intimidate some men, but fascinate others. If you are a feisty, take-charge kind of gal, you've probably had your share of problems with men and wonder if you'll ever find Mr. Healing The Mid-Life Love Crisis All I wanted was to fall in love and live happily ever after. The End. Friendship - A Relation of Choice! IntroductionHave you ever heard or have you ever seen, father-son; mother-daughter; husband-wife; boss-subordinates; brother-sister as a friend? Might be yes, but how often and how genuine. At the end of a day, the message is, "mein tumhara baap hoon, jo mein kahta hoon, who karo" (I am your father, do what I say). Are You Chasing Dollars or Your Kids? Striking a perfect balance between work and home todaycan be difficult task for most of us. However, do you everwonder if your spending too much time chasing money andnot enough with your children?Everything in moderation right? Haven't we been told thiscountless times and yet still we tend to find ourselvesconstantly plunging into excess. Approval - You Dont Need It Yesterday, after receiving a massage to help ease my computer-aided muscle tension, I was described as an over-achiever. That got me thinking about value-laden language and what it really means. Are all Men Unfaithful? "Men are all the same. Stop looking for Prince Charming, Dreamer!""We just can't commit to one person! I Loooove Women!""I can't help it! Women want me!""I almost went with this co-worker of mine years ago, and I feel some kind of regret today that I haven't done it?""Caroline, I have an active sex life with my girlfriend. He Still Hasnt Popped the Question - Should You Give Him an Ultimatum? You've been dating the man forever, and he has yet to cough up a ring. You spend every single weekend with him. Fight, Flight, or Loving Action Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When fear is present, adrenaline pours into our system to prepare us to fight or flee - from the tiger, the bear, the lava from the volcano?. Are You Relationship Ready? So, you want to fall in love? You are certainly old enough and movingwell along your chosen career path. Many of your friends are either married or in committed relationships. The Womans Guide to Younger Men I often awake to find Beverly, my older wife, wrapped around me like a Virginia creeper. In the nineteen years since we met, she has shown me what true love is, and I couldn't live without it. 20 Tips to Keep Love Alive Have you ever been at a loss to think of something special that you can do for that special someone in your life? Maybe you want to do a little extra for an important event, like his or her birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas, or anniversary.Here are some excellent tips and ideas of some special actions that you can take to help keep love alive in your life.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2010 |
