| |
| |
|
Relationships Information |
|
|
|
Link Romantic Feelings To The Sight Of Your Face
Anchoring is an NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) term used to describe the mind's tendency to associate two unrelated events or experiences, especially when a strong emotion is present. For example, if your mother fed you chicken soup when you were ill as a child, you will always associate chicken soup to being loved and cared for. On the down side, if you once contracted food poisoning from eating tainted pickles, just the smell of pickles will be enough to bring on a feeling of nausea many years after the event. How does anchoring work in relationships? If you come home from work elated by a promotion and see your lover's face, you will link that feeling of elation to the sight of his or her face. By the same token, if you hate your job and constantly talk about those feelings over dinner with your spouse, you'll unconsciously begin to associate the bad feelings with him or her. In that case, you must make a conscious effort to share more good times with them so you will more readily associate positive feelings to the sight of their face. Sharing good times creates positive anchors or associations. It helps you to weather the less positive times that every couple experiences at some stage in their relationship. Breaking up is often the result of linking too many negative anchors to the sight of your partner's face, with no knowledge of how to counteract them by deliberately creating positive ones. Here's a common example. A young doctor whose wife works to help him through medical school may decide to divorce her after he graduates. This is because he associates the sight of her face to the hard times they experienced during those years. Of course this is all unconscious - all he knows is that he feels bad whenever he looks at her. He mistakenly takes this as a sign that the relationship isn't working. Now that you know how anchoring works, use it intentionally to improve your relationship. 1. Plan positive events together and make sure you don't let any negativity intrude on the event. Save arguments or disagreements for a later time. 2. During the height of an intensely positive moment you are sharing, (a) touch your loved one lightly on the knee or arm, The next time you repeat the same gesture with this person in some other context, it will reawaken some of those original emotions in them. In a similar way, if you touch someone in a specific way when they are feeling sad, for example, you squeeze their shoulder or put an arm around them at a funeral, touching them later in the same way will reawaken those feelings of sadness. So be careful about what sorts of emotions you are associating to your touch, words or face. How does this apply to gifts? A gift is by its nature an anchor. Every time the recipient looks at the gift, they will remember the occasion when they received it, especially if they experienced strong emotions at the time. So you can help guarantee that your gift will be a strong ongoing anchor if you make sure that you create a truly memorable experience - such as an extremely romantic evening - when you present the gift. A woman will always remember following a trail of rose petals in her lover's apartment to find the necklace he purchased for her birthday. A man will always remember being presented with his own personal star by a lover dressed only in a star-patterned bra and g-string. It's also important to consider the opposite effect.Never give a gift by way of apology. You don't want to create negative anchors by giving gifts after an argument. If you give your wife a diamond ring to apologize for the fact that she caught you cheating with your secretary, the ring will always remind her of your infidelity. If you give your husband a new watch to apologize for crashing his BMW, he'll remember your transgression every time he checks the time. Even if those memories don't make it to conscious awareness, they're lurking just under the surface. It makes better sense to allow them to fade away, instead of attaching them to physical objects like gifts. Keep things simple. A genuine apology is all that's required after an argument. Save gifts for positive occasions. © Marguerite Bonneville Marguerite Bonneville is a Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) whose passion is publishing information online. She is a contributing writer at http://www.romantic-gift-ideas-online.com, a resource site dedicated to helping visitors find the perfect romantic gift.
MORE RESOURCES:
Jamie Kennedy Talks Relationships, Valentine's Day Plans and Playing 'Cupid ... - Hollywood Reporter
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How to Communicate Constructively Destructive communication erodes self-esteem and harms relationships. Such communication patterns may be destructive, but, sadly, plenty of people fall into the trap of indulging in them. Spouse Improvement: Influence Your Partner to Change in Just 7 Steps Everyone has something they'd like to change in their partner. Here is a 7-step process to create a change in your partner. Relationships Technology The notion that there can be a technology of relationships basically contradicts what we all know aboout relationships. There are entire bookshelves about relationships. Blondes Talking About Blondes! What is it about blondes that both sexes find so appealing? We are drawn to them like we are drawn to gold or a great barbequed steak and a beer. Although there is no denying brunettes and red heads can be every bit as gorgeous, there is something about blonde colored hair that demands instant attention. How Not to Compromise With Your Partner Do you ever disagree with your spouse? Or your boyfriend or girlfriend? Of course not - she/he/it is perfect, right?You can imagine my shock when my friend confided in me that he and his wife often fought over tiny things."You're kidding. Love and Life Lessons Recent events in my life have taught me that the best thing to do in any situation is just to love people. How can I be a better friend, a better Son, Brother or Sister,etc. Setting Up Boundaries in Relationships Setting up personal boundaries is important in all types of relationships, but in intimate ones, it is all the more important. As with the closer the relationship will become it is easier for those lines to blur. The Evolution of Love Songs have been saying it for generations together. Ask anyone what the world needs and the one answer you would get is-" love". Are You A Hopium Addict? Are You A 'Hopium Addict?'If the question alone was enough to make you recoil in horror, it doesn't necessarily mean that the term couldn't possibly apply to you. You may not have heard the term before, but your reaction may be because you are a closet hopium addict. Great Relationships: 4 More Dumb MIstakes and 4 Smarter Moves to Make 1) Treat the family you have come from as more important than the family you are creating. Put your parents' opinion and happiness above those of your spouse. A Womans World Women are simply wonderful don't you think? This question is not just aimed at us men but to women also! Throughout my life women have played a massive part in my upbringing from my Mother, my Aunts and to my very lovely and sadly missed Grandmother. These women have nurtured me and shown me what it takes to really be a man. Unprofessional Conduct Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 14, 2004I am sitting here so unsure of what to do anymore. I've never asked anyone for help of this type, as many people come to me for answers. The Grammar of Good Communication No, this is not a rehash of primary-school grammar; nor is it adiscourse on the finer points of rhetoric!There are some practical points which can make a powerfuldifference in the efficacy of your communication -- whether onthe job, with your spouse or when you are among friends.What is "good communication?" Much of what passes forconversation is a play with two performers, each impatientlywaiting for the other to finish so they can declaim the linesthey've been preparing as the other is talking. Home For The Holidays: Start That Conversation Annie waited too long to have that talk with her parents. It was too late to have it now as they were both beyond comprehending the seriousness of their situation. The Key to Ending Pain With Others It has taken me 40 years to learn exactly how to free myself from pain with others. After reading the book The Dammapada I sat under a tree to contemplate, and meditate on the wisdom I was soaking in to the depths of my heart, mind and soul. Relationship Red Flags Do Appear Early On So often in the bloom of a new romance we set aside a few "minor" character flaws to let the relationship continue, where sometimes we really should just end it early, and cut our losses. I'll make a list of a few of the ones that often come up. Can We Still Be Friends? Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. BurkEven when we know it's time to end a romantic relationship, we're often reluctant to let go of our partners completely. Being Romantic for a Change Honestly, I do not know anyone who is romantic nowadays other than me and a few people I have met online. Is romance fading from our lives? And why is it always looked at as a silly trivial thing? Are not dreamy romantic people considered losers by some?For me, romance is simply life. The Five Second Flirt Technique The first thing you want to do is to get into the line of sight of the man you are attracted to. When you catch his eye, you must give him the most inviting and receptive look you can manage, for three seconds? Count them. Learn the Six Secrets of Chemical Romance What is Chemical Romance? It's a scientific approach to seduction that reveals how to unleash the natural chemicals in the body. Have you ever felt an instant connection with someone you just met? Have you ever fallen in love at first sight?If yes, then you have experienced the powerful effects of chemical romance.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2010 |
